Tools To Flip The Pancake of Struggle and Liberation

On Monday nights I teach yoga at a friend's house to a small and dedicated group of friends, most of whom are visual artists. Each class has a theme. The themes are all related to what is relevant in my life at the moment. I realized that these themes are important enough to me that I have much more to say than I can possibly say in a yoga class without it turning into a lecture. But, this is a good place to let it spill.

On choosing themes: As you may have noticed, I am interested in combining ideas that are usually lumped in the category of "art" and ideas that would more easily be lumped in the category of "meditation" or "spiritual path".

If I just freaked you out by using the word "spiritual" just for a moment allow your eyebrows to relax and take a deep breathe. I did not use the word "religion". I will never talk about following a certain doctrine or set of beliefs. I realize that the idea of spirituality is not popular at the moment for many reasons. Part of that is because we regularly and unconsciously, worship at the alter of capitalism without any awareness of how or why. The extreme capitalism monster would love it if we were forever unfulfilled, empty, and longing so that we continue to engage in the system at the expense of our lasting happiness. In my experience, a "spiritual path" is a path of increasing awareness of ourselves so that we are able to empower ourselves within the capitalist system, an in any system: not be slaves to it and not to discard the system.

That said, I believe that everyone is on some sort of spiritual path. We are all constantly evolving, even if it is impossible to notice from day to day. Some people get stuck in one bend of their path. Some people get confused or scared and walk backward for a while. Others take a detour off the path into the woods for a while (which is really still part of the path). Other people run full steam ahead into the dark path and then get totally freaked out and have to stay where they are for a while... OK, you get the idea: we all go about it in different ways. The funny thing is that many people don't realize that they are on a path at all and really, that's totally fine because you are still on it. It doesn't go away just because you don't recognize it. There are benefits, though, to recognizing it because there are inevitably struggles on the path, kinks in the road, that can pretty much feel like the end of the world. If you know you are on a path, these kinks can be approached in new ways: we can realize that they will pass, trusting that the path continues beyond the kink, and also realize that the struggle is an auspicious gift, which brings me to yesterday's theme:

Struggle and Liberation:

On Sunday I was pretty much having one of those days where I was totally bummed, irritable with everything that came in the general vicinity and couldn't do anything but watch three episodes of Northern Exposure to get past my sour mood. I still am not sure why I felt that way but I suspect it is related to the stress of new craft sale possibilities.... anyway, when I shared this with my yoga students last night they replied, "Wow! We should have an emergency phone tree so we can talk about this when we feel so bummed and lonely! I had no idea that other people feel like this!"

This was so amazing for me to hear! If there is one thing that all humans have in common it's that we struggle. I even struggle with struggling, sometimes tricking myself into thinking that I'm having the wrong kind of struggle or that I'm struggling the wrong way (what does that even mean?!) Every artist goes into his or her studio, and more often that other people think says/thinks, "Shit! This is all crap! Why the hell am I here? I'm not really an artist. I don't even know what any of this stuff is!" I pretty much think something like this about once a day, not all day, but it's there, waiting for my defenses to be down so it can bombard me with 1,000 renditions of "I suck!" (sung to various pop tunes.) I practically throws a party when I am stressed out by something else or when I get a rejection letter (which, by the way, happens O-F-T-E-N), etc.

OK, so what do we do with this common delicious, juicy challenge? (what? delicious? juicy?)

The basic idea is that struggle and liberation are two sides to the same pancake. Struggles are not delicious simply because they are half of a pancake (although, it doesn't hurt!) they are delicious because every struggle is an auspicious gift... one might say the are "like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get". In the case of being in a studio funk, if I choose to struggle with conscious awareness I can learn new tools to get out of it when it inevitably overtakes me again and learn new things about myself and my work in the process.

So what are these tools that I can use to find new treasures in my experience? It's one thing to be told, "Oh yea, struggle is awesome!" and it's a total other thing to be in that dark place and find something skillful to hold onto until it passes. The mind is an amazing tool for structure and problem solving. When it has nothing to focus on though, it freaks out and runs amok. It likes to worry. It's good at worry. It's not so good at the intuitive, creative stuff that happens in the studio. It is an amazing tool to use for creating structure and totally necessary in an art practice, but when it loses interest or starts to worry, LOOK OUT!

Some tools:

So here are some specific things we can do:

1. Do something that inspires you, ANYTHING. I'm talking: go for a walk, read Manga, cook a delicious dinner, watch Norther Exposure, make earrings, dance like mad to a radical jam, read about houses built out of recycled materials, etc. These things may not seem like they have anything to do with making art but they do. The inspiration you feel when you do these things is the exact same inspiration you feel in your studio when you are on a roll. Feed the source.

(Elliot Hundley's work inspires me!)

2. Call another artist. You can call anyone you want, really, but all artists know the studio funk and non artists may not recognize their own funk as related (although it is). Just call someone and say, "hey, today kinda sucks. I'm in a total funk. I just need a little bit of a lifeline." Tell them you're in a funk. It's important that we know that we aren't alone. We all go through the same thing and we all get out of it but for some reason we don't share this (are we embarrassed?) It may help just to know that the other person we called has felt the same way at some point or another (or perhaps at that exact moment!) and if we're lucky, they may have some new tools or ideas to get out of the funk that we never thought of.

3. Do something for someone else. Make a funny card for your grandmother who probably doesn't receive enough funny cards. Make chocolate coconut cupcakes for your roommate/husband/mother's Merry Un-birthday. Buy a balloon, blow it up, draw an awesome picture on it with a sharpie and give it to the next person you see wearing florescent pink shoes. Do something with the intention in mind that you are doing it as a sort of gesture or gift for someone else. It will remind you that you are not alone and that your actions actually make a difference in the world.

4. Just look:

"The mere act of observing something changes the nature of the thing observed."

~Physicist Werner Heisenberg talking about "The Observer Effect"

Just take a seat in your studio (I like to sit with a cup of tea or coffee and my sketchbook) and just look. Don't do anything except look around. Allow thoughts of "good" or "bad" to float by. You can even start by writing down all of your worries and criticisms until your mind gets tired (don't worry, it won't take as long as you think and by writing them down they won't need to replay again and again in your mind because they know they have been recognized and listened to) and then just sit and look around. See what you notice. Just sitting in your studio is sometimes (often) more productive that making anything because as soon as you observe something you are changing it. The mere act of observation is an act of creation.

With some combination of these recipes for facing struggle, you can flip over that struggle-flavored pancake and realize that the other side is liberation-flavored and you are free to keep moving along the breakfast buffet of life. You are having the struggle you are supposed to have. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. There's no wrong way to eat a pancake.

OK, yes, I am posting pictures of my cats on here, but seriously, Dr. Pancake finally opened his eyes and no one should miss it.